Since it has been a few weeks since I posted anything, I will catch anyone who follows me up 

Daddy & I's roommates went away to Tennesee for the weekend on Thursday night so Daddy & I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to take full advantage of having the bedroom to ourselves. 

Thursday night: 10pm, O/our boys go to bed. Around midnight, Daddy & I decide to "go to bed." He went in the bedroom ahead of me & I heard Him making a lot of noise. I started to get a little worried  I went into the bedroom & He had this big mound thing [the cushion] laid on the floor & a bunch of links & cuffs, the whip, the ballgag and a blindfold laid out on O/our bed. Now, most of this stuff did not get used because I have a severe joint disorder that limits me to certain positions. But I digress. Daddy undressed me & I told Him I didn't feel comfortable with the light on so He put the blindfold on me. I was hoping for my collar too but at this point, I was completely at His control, considering I was "blind." He told me to get on my knees so I did & kind of laughed about it but He pulled me forward over top of the cushion. Once, I was laying on top of it, He cuffed my wrists to the sides, keeping my palms flat on the ground. He then proceeded to spank me. I didn't really make a sound because it didn't really hurt. I made a little sound when He played with me but I was really uncomfortable. I was actually a little disappointed because I was prepared for more pain that that. He even whipped me & I barely felt it. I remember thinking to myself "Really? Is that all you've got?" He took some pictures and I told Him I needed to get up, my back was locking up. He uncuffed me & helped me up off the floor & kissed me once I was standing. He bent me over the side of O/our bed & proceeded to spank me again. This time, I couldn't help but make sound. I was comfortable & He hit hard! He got my ass a nice cherry red & told me to crawl up into the bed. I laid down in bed on my back & He climbed in on top of me & cuffed my wrists to the posts of O/our bed. In my head, I was like, "THIS is what I've been wanting!" I don't feel the need to go into any more details but I know after about ten minutes of playing, I left my body. It was like I was being lifted & looking down on my own body, that Daddy was still using for His pleasure. I can't remember anything that really happened, only what Daddy tells me happened. My mind just physically was not there. I was in pure ecstasy and bliss. 
Daddy brought me back to my body by putting His hands around my throat. I like, opened my eyes &, even though I still had the blindfold on, I could see Him. I could feel the pads of His thumbs against the base of my throat & I wasn't scared. I have come to learn that Daddy will NEVER hurt me. I was turned on; I was HOT! 
After a few more minutes, Daddy told me He was going to cum & I felt Him explode. He removed the blindfold from my eyes & smiled down at me.
At that moment, He was more than my Daddy. He was my boyfriend, the love of my life, the man I trusted (& loved) more than anything in the whole world & I was His. At that moment, I knew that I would surrender my everything to this man & my life would forever be in His hands. I couldn't imagine my life without Him. I would be incomplete unless He was with me. I realized I had never felt so intensely for someone & even as I sit here writing this, I still can't believe my own heart. How can someone who has been hurt the way I was, trust & love another man so easily & with every fiber of my being?? I don't know; it boggles my mind; but I am doing it. I love Daddy with everything I am & everything I have inside me. I trust Him more than I have ever trusted another person outside my family. I need Him in my life.

Friday: I was a very productive Panda on Friday. I woke up, fed & changed the boys, gave them their vitamins, started laundry, started dishes and started to deep clean the kitchen. Later that night, I deep cleaned the boys room (mostly just picked up all their toys and blankets, threw away broken toys & swept) but their room looked fantastic! Daddy rewarded me by eating me out to orgasm. If that is not motivation to clean the house, I don't know what is! We ended up having a little problem when it came to intercourse but after W/we tried again, it worked fine & W/we had some amazing "vanilla" love-making. It wasn't as much ecstasy as the night before but any kind of sex with Daddy is great sex! 

4~23-2013

5~9~2013

I think I am finally becoming more secure in O/our relationship & just His words & touch is helping with that. I usually need sex to be reassured in a relationship but I think I can really trust that He is not going to leave me. 

Oh the joys of parenthood & having roommates. First of all, you can't do much during the day because you have children & it's a little weird to go into the bedroom in the middle of the day to "take a nap" when you show no signs of being sleepy. Let me explain. 

Daddy & I don't get much DD/lg time so W/we mostly have vanilla sex aside from a little choking & control. Today, while the boys took their nap & our roommates were out at the store, Daddy decided that I needed my spankings He owed me from before W/we lived together (see March 22nd).

I got spankings I didn't like then, Daddy decided to play with me & make me cum on His hand [as He knows I LOVE doing] while He gave me spankings I did like  I was lying face down on O/our bed when O/our roommate called. (Interruption #1). When He got off the phone, W/we decided to save playtime for later. I kissed Daddy & pulled Him down on the bed & asked Him nicely to fuck me quick. He pulled out His bag of goodies & cuffed my wrists together. As soon as He did that, W/we heard the doorknob to O/our bedroom jiggle. Boys were up from their nap. 

Daddy had to uncuff me & W/we had to postpone playtime until later at that point. Oh the joys of parenthood! I just know that tonights playtime will be INTENSE & I can't wait! 

Last night, I got exactly what I wanted. Daddy & I were laying in bed having a talk about how frustrated I was. I told Him that it had been bothering me that He was being un-dominating & I wanted Him to be more rough with me & how W/we had talked about collaring me but it hadn't happened yet & I was upset. I was telling him that there is more to love-making than intercourse & asked Him what He really wanted. He then proceeded to show me. . .

He grabbed me by the throat &, of course, I was grinning ear to ear. THIS is what I wanted! He growled in my ear that my body was His to use whenever & wherever He wanted & how I don't determine when or where that is, He does. I was not to initiate anything, I had to let Him do it. Of course, my dominant side wasn't having this & I had to beat her down my submissive side & tell myself that I asked for this life & I WAS going to submit to Him. He let go of my throat & ran His hand down my body after I complied & answered Him correctly with a "Yes, Daddy"

The second time He grabbed my throat, there was no smile. It was genuine fear. I knew in the back of my mind that He wouldn't damage me but I had to keep telling myself over & over in my head that He wouldn't. I don't remember all of what He said this time but, I know how I felt. I felt pure & genuine fear. I was scared! Almost in tears, I was able to choke out another "Yes, Daddy" when he asked me if I understood. He ran His hand back down my body again & told me He loved me. 

At that point, He moved so He was on top of me. I looked at Him with real fear in my eyes & all I could think was "what is He going to do now?" He positioned Himself on top of me & grabbed my throat again, lighter this time. I came almost immediately as soon as He entered me. I had never felt ecstacy like this before. Between the sensation of Him inside me & His hand on my throat, I didn't know what I was enjoying more. He pulled out & started to finger me & moved His hand from my throat to my right breast, which sent me through another wave of ecstacy. I asked Him if I could cum & I could see that He was thinking about it. I started to dry up & I think He realized that so He told me yes & I soaked O/our bed. As I was cumming, He kept fingering me & even had to forcefully push me back down on the bed by my breast. 

He re-entered me & again, I almost came as soon as He entered me. I let Him stroke a few times before I asked to cum again & immediately this time, He told me yes. I came in waves! I soaked Daddy, the bed, my ass & almost, my bunny. He kept His hand on my breast for a few more minutes before moving His hands to either side of me & sending me through wave after wave of pleasure. I asked if I could flip over & He growled a no just as He came. We collapsed in a heap. It was amazing, to say the least. 

Maybe tonight, I will be able to get Daddy to take me from behind like I have been wanting 

I love that He is so willing to take pictures with me too. It makes me feel awesome that He is willing to share such a special thing with me without even knowing what it means to me  I don't think I'm going to tell Him what it means to me. I want Him to keep doing it lol

We head back to Virginia today. I have to say I'm a little sad. I'm going to miss my friends at school.

The sex in itself is phenomenol but He is kind of lacking in the foreplay department. This morning, I was going to wake Him up with a blowjob & I was trying to play with Him to get Him a little harder & He rolled over & turned His back to me. I got out of bed because I don't like cuddling with backs. It makes me feel less important to Him.

I got a little bit of force out of Him last night but hardly. I even expressed how much I liked it when He did it but He stopped quick. He forced my legs off of Him & apart but after that, the force stopped. He grabbed my hands & I had to move my arm so that my wrist was in His grip instead of my fingers. That didn't seem to do much either.  He ran his hand down my body & across my throat & it turned me on but when I expressed that to Him, it didn't even seem like He heard me. "Daddy" just seems to get Him off so I try not to say it too much. I had to beg Him to finish pleasing me after He was finished last night.

I want my legs to shake, I want to see bruises on my wrists & anywhere else, I want GOOD oral sex. I'm not expecting anything anymore. Honetly, what has He given me to expect?