Day 3: My stories about masturbation and losing my virginity

      I'm going to start with losing my virginity. I was eleven. My mom had just kicked my dad out of the house & went away for the weekend with her new boyfriend. My sister, brother & I were supposed to stay with our grandparents but I convinced my grandpa to let me stay home by myself. I was chatting online with a guy from the southern part of the state & we had made plans to meet. I told him I was 16. My best friend at the time & I went to meet him at the gas station across the highway from the trailer court I lived in & rode with him back to my house. He brought beer & we had a little candlelit picnic in the living room. After a few beers, the three of us went back to my mom's bedroom. My best friend gave him a backrub so I left the room. She came out into the living room about 15 minutes later & said he wanted me so I went back to my mom's room. He gave me a backrub & started to kiss on me. I rolled over & kissed him on the mouth. He put his hand up my shirt & being a virgin, I started to get a little scared. He calmed my fears, kissed all the way down my body & ate my pussy. It was fantastic! He came back up & kissed me & that is when he started fucking me. I was in ecstacy. I didn't know what was really going on; just that it felt great & I didn't want it to end. He only lasted a few minutes but to my young, virgin body it felt like hours. We had sex two or three times more that night. He left the next morning & I never heard from him again. 

      I think I was masturbating before I lost my virginity. I remember nights of sitting online at late hours while my mom slept & my dad was out drinking & talking dirty with people. I was young. I didn't really know what I was doing. I remember using the microphone for our computer as my first "toy." After I lost my virginity, I didn't maturbate again until I was 17 & in a long distance relationship. We would have phone sex almost every night. I stopped masturbating for years & started up again when I got married at 19. He taught me that masturbation wasn't gross like I thought. I learned from him that I didn't need to sleep around to have pleasure & if I learned what I liked, I could please myself. My number of sexual partners went way down after that & to this day, I am only sleeping with one man now but in the last couple years I've averaged only a few people a year. I thank my ex-husband for that 

Day 2: My view on sex and morality

      My views on sex & morality... I really don't know how to start or really answer this one. My views on sex are easy. Sex is great! Sex is a form of expression between two people who love each other & it is the most intimate thing you can do with someone. It is letting go of all inhibitions & allowing yourself to be seen & felt in the most raw sense. 

      How morality relates to that, I'm not sure how to answer that. In my mind, there are things that are okay & not okay morally. My morals lay in BDSM. I think it is okay to be controlled to a point & have the aspects that a DD/lg relationship provides whereas, for example, my family, would have a conipsion if they knew what I allowed in my bedroom & my relationship. 

      There are only a few things I think are morally wrong when it comes to sex. Being in a few abusive relationships has brought me to never allow choking, beating, slapping, gags & being bound with ropes around my whole body. I am okay with handcuffs, being tied to the bed, spanking & trying new things. 

Day 1: Introduction (self and reason for having this blog/ doing this challenge)

      I am a little. I have always been a little deep inside, just never allowed to express it in my other relationships. I am 5'2", short brown hair, brown eyes & I am a BBW. I pride myself on being a bigger girl & EW, a.k.a my Daddy, has no complaints 

      I created my DD/lg blogs to explore a whole new world (go ahead & think Aladdin).  EW has been my best friend for the last four years & when He asked me to date Him (again; for the hundreth time), I said yes. I figured I could trust Him, I knew I could confide in Him & I knew He would never hurt me. I mean c'mon, the guys been chasing me for four years! Also, I realized how I had been in love with Him all this time & was too immature to be ready for the kind of long term, monogamous relationship He wanted. It really made me think about how much I've grown up in the last four years. I guess pain & suffering will do that. 

      Anyway, we started to talk about the DD/lg thing & I was unsure of it for about a week. I did a lot of research like EW told me to before I made my decision. Once I learned that it was more about love & nurturing in the [DD/lg] aspect, I was okay with it. EW & I had days of talk about it before I made my final decision. I finally let Him know about a week after W/we started dating when I made my Tumblr. We talked on Skype that night & I gave Him the link to my Tumblr. I have never seen such a big smile on EW's face. He was so happy to finally have me. 

       The reason I am doing this challenge I guess is I love writing and I want to learn a little more about the little inside of me by really thinking about things. 

      Daddy was supposed to come see me this weekend but the stupid IRS didn't send His roommate her taxes. She was going to give Him the money to come down here to be with me for the weekend since He used all of his money for bills and household stuff. Only four more weeks & my semester at school will be over then Daddy & I get to be together forever.

      He is going to pick me up on my last day of school, W/we are getting a hotel room for the weekend in Florida because Daddy has never been to the beach and have LOTS of Daddy/Little playtime. 

      I worry all the time about Daddy though. I worry about the distance & the loneliness. Daddy says He will never be unfaithful to me but I worry so much because I don't want to lose Him & I have been hurt a lot lately. 

      I am just over thinking things I guess. I hate being in little space when I have to be big. I have been in constant little space lately. Daddy's texts & Skypes are the only thing that keep me going through big girl world. I just can't wait until He is here so I can hold Him & snuggle Him. 

My blog contains images and text only suitable for those who are 18+. Most of these pictures/ writings are NSFW & are re-blogged or found on the internet & assumed to be public domain; I do not own any unless otherwise stated.

~Panda

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