Wooow! It's been so long since I posted to this blog! 
UPDATE!
EW & I are no longer together; haven't been for about three months now. I have been with a great man who I am now engaged to but I am only half-assed living my lifestyle. 
Once in a while, NS will engage in it with me but not often. I have yet to be the sub in this relationship. I guess that is what I get for getting into a relationship with a masochist & a slave!
I am on the hunt for a Dom/Daddy/teacher for short-term, training only. NS would never let me go for a D/s relationship outside of ours. I think though that if I learn from an experienced Dom, maybe I (or He) can teach NS how to be a good Dom to me. 

Since it has been a few weeks since I posted anything, I will catch anyone who follows me up 

Daddy & I's roommates went away to Tennesee for the weekend on Thursday night so Daddy & I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to take full advantage of having the bedroom to ourselves. 

Thursday night: 10pm, O/our boys go to bed. Around midnight, Daddy & I decide to "go to bed." He went in the bedroom ahead of me & I heard Him making a lot of noise. I started to get a little worried  I went into the bedroom & He had this big mound thing [the cushion] laid on the floor & a bunch of links & cuffs, the whip, the ballgag and a blindfold laid out on O/our bed. Now, most of this stuff did not get used because I have a severe joint disorder that limits me to certain positions. But I digress. Daddy undressed me & I told Him I didn't feel comfortable with the light on so He put the blindfold on me. I was hoping for my collar too but at this point, I was completely at His control, considering I was "blind." He told me to get on my knees so I did & kind of laughed about it but He pulled me forward over top of the cushion. Once, I was laying on top of it, He cuffed my wrists to the sides, keeping my palms flat on the ground. He then proceeded to spank me. I didn't really make a sound because it didn't really hurt. I made a little sound when He played with me but I was really uncomfortable. I was actually a little disappointed because I was prepared for more pain that that. He even whipped me & I barely felt it. I remember thinking to myself "Really? Is that all you've got?" He took some pictures and I told Him I needed to get up, my back was locking up. He uncuffed me & helped me up off the floor & kissed me once I was standing. He bent me over the side of O/our bed & proceeded to spank me again. This time, I couldn't help but make sound. I was comfortable & He hit hard! He got my ass a nice cherry red & told me to crawl up into the bed. I laid down in bed on my back & He climbed in on top of me & cuffed my wrists to the posts of O/our bed. In my head, I was like, "THIS is what I've been wanting!" I don't feel the need to go into any more details but I know after about ten minutes of playing, I left my body. It was like I was being lifted & looking down on my own body, that Daddy was still using for His pleasure. I can't remember anything that really happened, only what Daddy tells me happened. My mind just physically was not there. I was in pure ecstasy and bliss. 
Daddy brought me back to my body by putting His hands around my throat. I like, opened my eyes &, even though I still had the blindfold on, I could see Him. I could feel the pads of His thumbs against the base of my throat & I wasn't scared. I have come to learn that Daddy will NEVER hurt me. I was turned on; I was HOT! 
After a few more minutes, Daddy told me He was going to cum & I felt Him explode. He removed the blindfold from my eyes & smiled down at me.
At that moment, He was more than my Daddy. He was my boyfriend, the love of my life, the man I trusted (& loved) more than anything in the whole world & I was His. At that moment, I knew that I would surrender my everything to this man & my life would forever be in His hands. I couldn't imagine my life without Him. I would be incomplete unless He was with me. I realized I had never felt so intensely for someone & even as I sit here writing this, I still can't believe my own heart. How can someone who has been hurt the way I was, trust & love another man so easily & with every fiber of my being?? I don't know; it boggles my mind; but I am doing it. I love Daddy with everything I am & everything I have inside me. I trust Him more than I have ever trusted another person outside my family. I need Him in my life.

Friday: I was a very productive Panda on Friday. I woke up, fed & changed the boys, gave them their vitamins, started laundry, started dishes and started to deep clean the kitchen. Later that night, I deep cleaned the boys room (mostly just picked up all their toys and blankets, threw away broken toys & swept) but their room looked fantastic! Daddy rewarded me by eating me out to orgasm. If that is not motivation to clean the house, I don't know what is! We ended up having a little problem when it came to intercourse but after W/we tried again, it worked fine & W/we had some amazing "vanilla" love-making. It wasn't as much ecstasy as the night before but any kind of sex with Daddy is great sex! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4~23-2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5~9~2013

Daddy & I didn't have sex last night & not only was I okay with it last night, I just realized that I'm okay with it today. I hardly even thought about it until right now! I'm NEVER okay with not having sex with Him daily! 

I think I am finally becoming more secure in O/our relationship & just His words & touch is helping with that. I usually need sex to be reassured in a relationship but I think I can really trust that He is not going to leave me. 

Being Mommy & Little:
Update: 4~11~13

Oh the joys of parenthood & having roommates. First of all, you can't do much during the day because you have children & it's a little weird to go into the bedroom in the middle of the day to "take a nap" when you show no signs of being sleepy. Let me explain. 

Daddy & I don't get much DD/lg time so W/we mostly have vanilla sex aside from a little choking & control. Today, while the boys took their nap & our roommates were out at the store, Daddy decided that I needed my spankings He owed me from before W/we lived together (see March 22nd).

I got spankings I didn't like then, Daddy decided to play with me & make me cum on His hand [as He knows I LOVE doing] while He gave me spankings I did like  I was lying face down on O/our bed when O/our roommate called. (Interruption #1). When He got off the phone, W/we decided to save playtime for later. I kissed Daddy & pulled Him down on the bed & asked Him nicely to fuck me quick. He pulled out His bag of goodies & cuffed my wrists together. As soon as He did that, W/we heard the doorknob to O/our bedroom jiggle. Boys were up from their nap. 

Daddy had to uncuff me & W/we had to postpone playtime until later at that point. Oh the joys of parenthood! I just know that tonights playtime will be INTENSE & I can't wait!